Just Cause I Die When You're Gone
by bridgie797
Summary: Somehow Gabi finds herself busier than ever with all the opportunities she has at Stanford.  She and Troy try desperately to make time for each other.  But, being on different campuses and commitments are making that difficult.  What will they do?


"I love you."

She tried to smile as she gazed into his eyes. If only that was all that life required, but life went on even after his heart felt words. Life went on and sometimes threatened to leave them behind. What was she supposed to do? She wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, but they both kept sacrificing things they loved in order to fight for what they still had. Sometimes she wondered, what would be too much?

"I love you too." She leaned in and kissed him quickly. She brushed her hand along his chin, then turned to go back to her apartment. Before she could get completely away, she felt him clasp her wrist and tug on her arm. He wasn't ready to let go of her.

He gave her a little, teasing half smile. "Come back."

She dropped her head forward. "I have to study. After that I have to get a little rest, so that I can get up early to go through another excruciating day, Troy. I really need to go, honey."

His eyes made her feel guilty for needing to do anything but be with him. She sighed and felt her shoulders roll forward. "Troy, I can't afford any—"

He nodded, let go of her arm, and looked downward. "It's okay, go." He didn't say anything else. He simply stepped back into his apartment and closed the door.

That had been the last time she'd seen him. It had somehow been three weeks and she realized he hadn't called either. She hadn't thought they were fighting, but he hadn't called. She found herself wondering if she'd forgotten something important. Sometimes when her head was caught up in her work, she lost track of the date or time.

Another week passed and she was busier than ever. She'd fallen asleep on her books again. She woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. She grabbed it on the last ring, "Hello?" She wasn't really awake. All she heard were high pitched giggles and then Troy's voice saying something about giving him his phone and she shouldn't be screwing around. Then, the line went dead.

A month of no calls, no seeing him, and he was goofing around with some giggly girl on a Friday night. She realized that maybe sometime in the last month she'd lost her boyfriend.

"You don't understand, Tay. I swear he was flirting with her."

Taylor sighed, "Well, honey, you haven't exactly been attentive lately. I know-I know you just don't have the time, but sweetheart, he's a young guy. He's a star on the Berkley campus."

Gabriella curled into a ball on her bed. She didn't have time to cry. She didn't have time to think about him. She didn't want to feel right now.

* * *

><p>Troy had been her life. But, she'd wanted this too. She'd fought for Stanford and she'd excelled. She was so busy with opportunities that she was struggling to find enough time to sleep. She walked briskly to her next class. As she did, she saw a bunch of frat guys cheering their way through some kind of pep rally-esque gathering. She couldn't see who they were all yelling at or for, but she didn't have time to stop either. She felt tears fill her eyes again as she remembered pep rallies where she'd cheered just as loud for Troy. She rushed off to her class faster than she had been before.<p>

Troy's voice filled the bar as the sports caster interviewed him before the big Berkley-Stanford game. The people here were mostly booing him and saying stupid crap about his stats this year. That was when the news guy had asked the question, "So, Troy, how's life outside the court going for you? Anyone special in your life?"

Troy had blushed and shook his head, "Not really, right now I'm mostly just focused on basketball and graduation."

She'd never cried as hard as she had that night. Taylor had brought her chocolate and pizza and they'd watched movies and Taylor had let her just be in her company without telling her it would "be okay."

* * *

><p>Six months later, summer had returned. She'd begun to heal from her heart break. She was coming around a little more often to Chad and Taylor's place. She couldn't believe little miss "there'll be other guys" had reconnected with her high school boyfriend after college and fallen in love all over again.<p>

Taylor had gotten her out of her place a few times in the last week. She was still working and taking a couple summer classes. But, all in all, she was starting to socialize again a little too.

She was late to meet Taylor. She knew her friend would be frustrated, but she'd been caught up in her project in the lab and she couldn't exactly leave in the middle of it. Plus, she'd sent that text message.

Gabriella knocked on Taylor's door. When the door opened she'd stood paralyzed. Troy Bolton was standing there with his eyebrows in his hair line. She felt her stomach flip and then bury itself in her gut. She couldn't speak. She was suddenly heartbroken all over again. She felt the tears begin to prickle at her eyes again.

Just then some blond cutesy girl bounced up next to him. She wrapped herself around Troy's side. He didn't even look at the girl. He didn't wrap her in his arms. He just stood staring at Gabriella. Gabriella was confused, but she was so caught up in her own emotions that she thought she was going to vomit.

Taylor rounded the corner putting in an earring. She stopped at the sight before her, "Oh, God! Gabriella! I'm so sorry. I thought you got my text back?" Taylor stepped between Troy and the doorway. She grabbed the handle on the way out. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. I sent you a message that I couldn't get out tonight. Chad made plans without telling me. Gabriella, honey, are you okay?"

Gabriella burst into tears. "I have to g-g-go." She turned and ran to the elevator.

* * *

><p>Gabriella and Taylor didn't mention Troy for months. It had been several weeks since she had run from Taylor's apartment. Taylor couldn't get her to come over at all. She had managed to get Gabriella to meet her at a café for lunch or at some stores to do a little bit of shopping. Still, mention her apartment and Gabriella was all closed off. Taylor was beginning to wonder if Gabriella would ever be okay.<p>

Troy on the other hand had begun dating again. He'd brought over a number of girls that Taylor could no longer name. He never seemed to keep them long. Most of them had features that were complete opposite of Gabriella. Taylor was wondering, again to herself, if maybe Troy was grieving in his own way.

A year later, Gabriella called Taylor and mentioned that she was really wanting to come by her place. She had a huge box of pictures to go through and she thought Chad might enjoy some of them as well. Taylor had invited her over and they'd planned it for that Friday.

They all had dinner. Then they'd sat going through photos, while Chad played a game on the Wii against a friend he was talking to on his phone. Gabriella was pretty sure it was Troy, but Chad had the decency to not say so.

Taylor got up to answer the door after a knock. Gabriella was still sorting through photographs when she heard Troy's voice not far from her. She looked up to realize that Chad and Taylor had disappeared. She sighed, sat up straight and refused to look at him.

"Gabriella?"

She glanced at him and nodded, "Troy."

He walked over and knelt down on the floor in front of her. He had tears streaming down his cheeks. "I need you back, Gabi."

He didn't say anything else. He didn't ask all the questions she would have since they had been racing her mind. He simply told her he needed her back. For all he knew, she could have another person in her life. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Troy looked at her with that soulful stare. "I love you and I know that you still love me. I will do anything, Gabi. Anything…please?"

Gabriella looked at him a bit more fiercely. "Anything? Are you kidding me? You never actually broke up with me! You just stopped calling and started seeing other people! Anything? You still love me? Are you kidding me? That's a hell of a way to show you love someone!"

He stared at her, "That's what you think happened between us?"

She looked at him, "That's what I know. I was there, Bolton."

He slumped against the edge of the couch. "Baby, I called. I came by your apartment. I tried to find you on campus only to get stopped by half the basketball team. Hell, Gabriella I talked to your roommate so many times I lost count. You never returned my messages. You never came back to me. So, I – I gave up. I started seeing other people again. I tried to drown my need for you in so many different girls, but none of them could compare to you. Please, Gabriella. I love you!"

She shook her head, "I never saw any messages. I never saw your car-" She stopped as she realized, she _had_ seen his car in her driveway. She just hadn't realized it was his. She'd seen it as she went from one class building to the hospital for rounds. He had been there. "Why?"

He slid himself onto the couch next to her. He saw the recognition in her face. He tried to pull her to him. "I just couldn't compete with your science. You didn't want me. You just wanted to get home to study. I thought I could handle it until that month. You're right. I didn't actually break up with you. I didn't want to. I just wanted you to come back to me, but you didn't. So, I let you have more time with your studies."

"So the interview was what?"

He looked at her confused.

"Screw you, Bolton."

"Gabi, WAIT!"

She was half way to the door when she saw Chad standing, blocking her path. Taylor was standing by the balcony door. "We aren't moving until the two of you make some kind of amends."

Gabriella screamed. She just simply let out all this frustration she'd been feeling. The whole room stopped and stared. Troy walked to her after he unfroze. "I didn't want to let you go. And, I do still love you. I won't let this go on any longer." He turned her to face him, "I want you, need you, can't live without you in my life. Gabriella Montez, I will do anything to get the only woman I love back at my side."

She stared at him and tried not to cry in anger. "You don't get to discard me and then just decide to get me back!"

Troy shook his head. "Do you love me?"

"That's beside the point."

He lifted her chin to meet her eyes, "Do you love me?"

Softly her lips answered, "Yes."

"Then why are we fighting?"

"Because it all went wrong, Troy. Because you left me without even saying goodbye!"

He kissed her forehead tenderly. Hesitantly he raised his arms and wrapped her in them. He pulled her close. After a few moments, she began to melt into his body. "Troy…oh, god."

"I'm sorry, Gabriella. I'm so, so sorry." He whispered into her hair. "I can't tell you what I would give to make this right again."

She cried into his chest. His shirt was soaked in short order. She listened to his voice. She heard his words. She begged every god imaginable that what he said was real, because she didn't think she could live through losing him again. He held her so tightly, his arms wrapping her in a way that felt as though he were holding her up. That was when she realized her knees had given out. It wasn't until he picked her up and carried her to the couch that she understood. He didn't sit her down on the couch. He sat down and held her in his lap with her head still pressed into his shirt. She was sure he could feel how drenched it was now. With a very rough, but soft voice she said, "I love you so much. I died when you were gone."

Troy held her tightly. "I'm still here, baby. I swear I'll never leave you again. I won't let anything like this ever happen again." He kissed her hair again. "Gabi…"

She was convulsing from her crying now. They were very cleansing tears, or maybe she was beginning to believe that he was there with her again. She sobbed again, convulsing in his arms. "Troy, oh god! Oh God!"

He squeezed his arms around her again. "I'm right here, baby. Sh… It's going to be okay. We're together again. I'm right here. I've got you."

She clung to him. She pulled him closer. She ran her hands roughly up to his skin. She pulled his head down to hers. She met his eyes. Her tears fell on her hot cheeks. "Never again. You have to swear. I can't go through this again."

He stared into her eyes and very softly said, "I swear to God, you will never be without me again." He stopped and simply watched her eyes as she began to cry bigger tears. "Gabi…Baby?"

She leaned forward and kissed him. "Just do not let go of me right now, okay?"

He nodded and a smile slowly eased into his features. "Gabriella?"

She looked up at him again.

"Are we back together? I need to hear it from you."

She nodded, "I love you. We're together."

The other two removed themselves from the room for a little while. Troy sat holding Gabriella in his lap. His arms ached with the strain of holding her so tightly for so long, but he refused to let go of her until she fought to get out of his hold. Slowly, his arms began to slide to more comfortable positions. She surprised him by wrapping her hands around his bicep and beginning to massage. Softly she said, "You've got to relax your arms, sweetheart."

So, he did.

She smiled.

It was the first smile he'd seen on her face in over a year. "I've missed that."

She looked confused, "Holding me?"

He shook his head, "You just smiled because of something I did. You haven't smiled for me in almost a year and a half."

She thought back through the last year and a half. She hadn't smiled for him. She suddenly felt very badly about how she'd treated him. "I'm so sorry—"

He placed two fingers against her lips. "Don't apologize and please, I beg you, don't stop smiling for me."

She forced a smile until she felt it. As she began to feel the smile, it reached her eyes. "I love you. I always have."

He smiled now too, "I've never hurt so badly in my life. Every time I would think about the past or see a picture or see a beautiful latina woman, I would be in pain all over again." He stroked her hair and placed a kiss on her head. "I love you so much. How did it get this bad?"

She leaned into him again, "I got consumed in my work. You got put on the back burner too often."

He shook his head, "I was caught up in basketball. There were all these people. I just wanted you, but I couldn't do anything. I began to think you didn't want me. Gabriella, are you sure you do?"

She smiled, looked at him like he was crazy. "Can you not feel how wet you shirt is with my tears?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

She smiled and raised her palm to his face. She slowly stroked the skin there. "So, what now?"

He squeezed her, "Now, we stay together no matter what…in the mean time, we should let Chad and Taylor know that ease dropping is unbecoming." They laughed out as sounds began to emerge from the kitchen.

Troy and Gabriella both looked over toward the kitchen to see Chad emerge with flour or something similar all over his upper body. His pout spoke volumes as he said, "she kicked me out."

Troy and Gabriella laughed at him. She finally spoke up, "What were you trying to do?"

Chad cocked his head to one side and said, "Trying to make ice cream."

Troy raised his eyebrows, "From scratch?"

Chad smiled like a five year old and nodded his head up and down. Both Gabriella and Troy laughed again as Chad came to sit down next to them. Before either had calmed down completely, he asked, "So, how are things going out here?" His hopeful tone made it clear what he was asking about.

Troy squeezed his arms around Gabriella a little. "Things are looking better. It's gonna take some time, but we're trying again."

She leaned her head down against his shoulder and smiled gently at the sweet feelings that ran through her body. "We're going to make time for each other, no matter what."

Chad nodded, "Good to hear."

Gabriella giggled. "Thank you for not letting me leave."

Chad smiled quickly. "I figured you'd either hate us or love us for it. I like this response better."

Troy kissed her forehead and looked over at Chad with a large smile on his face, "Thanks man."

Taylor walked out into the living room. "Well, the mess my boyfriend made has been cleaned up, but if we want ice cream, we should probably go out to get it."

Troy, Gabriella, and Taylor laughed. Troy said, "If the ladies would like ice cream, I'll treat."

Chad looked shocked, "What about me? I want ice cream!"

Taylor looked at him with one eyebrow cocked, "Chad, you always want ice cream."

Troy chuckled, "Yeah, that was a given, man."

Gabriella laughed softly as she watched her friends ease back into roles they had so carefully dismissed until this evening. "I'm up for ice cream."

Taylor nodded as well. The four of them began to get up. Chad walked over to the table and pulled out shoes from beneath it. Taylor was wrapping a scarf around her neck and slipping on sandals. Troy and Gabriella were slower to separate. He waited for her to slip off his lap, but he never let go over her hand. This was still so fresh and the pain hadn't gone away yet. He assumed it probably wouldn't for a while. Still, he wasn't letting go of her tonight.

As Gabriella got up, she noticed the way he was maintaining contact. She was somewhat relieved that he wasn't just taking this for granted. As he stood, she tucked in against his chest. "Promise me one thing, Troy?"

He closed his arms around her again. "What's that, baby?"

"Promise me that if I get consumed in my work that you'll tell me or send Taylor or Chad or everyone we know before you give up and start seeing other people." She watched as his eyes darkened at the words, 'give up,' but that was how it felt to her. "Please don't be mad, just promise me that you'll get in my face or send someone to make me wake up, please?"

Troy leaned his head down to her face. He gently placed a kiss to her swollen lips. He then kissed her tear-stained cheek and snuggled her into his arms, putting his mouth beside her ear. In a soft whisper, he said, "I'll do whatever it takes, because I need you. And, just 'cause I die when you're gone doesn't mean that I won't hold you to making this work. What it does mean is that I'll be fighting for us every step of the way."

She nodded against him. "I love you so much, Troy. I don't want to just survive anymore. I want you with me."

He felt his chest ease from a crushing of a dam that he hadn't let himself consider for a long time. "You have me, baby. You will always have me." He placed a kiss to the top of her head and they went back to holding each other's hand as they walked out of the apartment to join their friends.


End file.
